I AM FINE

The dryness. It's all I think about. I keep drinking water, it doesn't matter, it feels like my nose is about to bleed. Everything around me seems like a blur, images of mannequins seated in rows in awkward positions, trying to sleep, trying not to think about the time. I'm breathing slowly, so slowly... it feels like my heart could stop any minute. I can feel the air going through my nose, my throat, making me thirsty. My eyes are closed, trying to focus on my surroundings, but the dryness is all I think about. How I could use some tears right now, but they wouldn't get far.

I'm happy here, in this uncomfortable seat, feeling the soft vibration and quiet noise of the engines. Mostly, I have them, these strangers keeping me company in silence.

I am immobile, going 837 km per hour and I'm happy. Despite the dryness, despite knowing time is my silver lining, I know that tonight for the first time in weeks I'll be able to rest.
Then... tomorrow won't feel as dreadful and eventually, as days go by, I'll have the strength to love again.

BE...

I have friends.

A good mother and brothers.

I have a roof over my head.

I have a job, a good job.

I have beauty within.

I have talent and self-motivation.

I am healthy

and smart.


With all this, I have to be,

I must be happy.

TOO MUCH TO SEE (UK, SCOTLAND, BELGIUM)

SUCCESS!

LAC SUPÉRIEUR/ SUMMER 2010

Today, after days of hard work I'm finally done re-uploading all the pictures that got lost last year. That represents almost 6 years worth of photos! 

I'm very fond of this thing though I haven't been really active in the last few years.

I'm happy.

BELFOUNTAIN

"Can we do one of my favorite thing?"

"Of course we can do your favorite thing."

So we did.

Higher Ground Coffee Co

Higher Ground Coffee Co.

The Bridge.

Belfountain Inn

-

I'll have to go back there in the Summer.

BOOM

I spent the entire day in a town I didn't want to be, in a hotel I didn't want to sleep in. I made the best of it, I thought. I went for a nice lunch, had a few beers even. Danced with a man in the middle of a restaurant with no music at all.

I went to bed early that night, too early. Not exactly tired, just eager to leave this day behind me. Theorically speaking, I did wake up the next day, just past midnight. I heard the first boom and my eyes opened slowly. Usually, I would have been confused by the time, I would have looked at the clock, maybe panic for a second. There was none of that. I knew exactly where I was, the time, the date, all painfully too clear and... real. I got out of bed and walked to the window. I could see the soft glow of the lights outside and the reflection of it on the water. Like a forest covered in snow, the room absorbed every bit of sound, giving a dream like atmosphere to my surroundings. Even the ongoing detonations seemed to be happening so far away.

My body was still warm from lying under the blanket and a chill went through me as I stood there, silent, bathing in the yellowish glow of the night. I closed my eyes, heard a few more "pow", followed by a louder one. The "grande finale", then nothing.

I left the curtains open so I wouldn't be in the dark and went back to bed, shivering. There, surrounded by the cheers of happy people, screaming and laughing, I never felt so desperately alone. Hugging one of the pillows tightly, I took a deep breath and whispered to myself;

" Happy New Year Myriam".

A few hours later I was at work; In my head, the echoes of the fireworks.